Many of us have intentions to set aside time daily for devotions, prayer, or meditation. We know that these practices help us feel more whole, more grounded, and more aware of the presence of the divine within us. We know that this time is important for our inner and outer lives. Or, we know we really should slow down for five minutes before we spin off in a thousand different directions. And yet…it can be hard to know where to begin. It can be hard to be self directed when it comes to matters of the spirit. Today I want to share with you how I use my phone to enrich my spiritual life and support my mental health through apps. Now I know many of us have mixed relationships with technology and our phones, but I have found certain apps have helped me be consistent in my meditation practice as well as being sources of nurture for my faith. There are a lot of good resources out there, but here are 3 Christian faith apps that I use and appreciate, and 3 meditation apps I find helpful. Please note most have in-app purchases to access the most content, so be aware of what you are signing up for. May your phone serve you well as you seek to be still, be real, and be present. Peace, Ruth

Faith Based Apps

Centering Prayer (free)

The Centering Prayer app comes from Contemplative Outreach. It really has everything to guide you through a centering prayer practice from choices for the opening prayer, a time and an adjustable timeframe for centering prayer, choices for a closing prayer and closing thought, as well as choice of bell sounds. It is a lovely guide and includes links to their website for more teaching and resources. 

Pray as you go (free)

This is a daily session offering lasting between 10-15 minutes with a beautiful photo background, music, scripture, and reflection questions. If you desire something that feels like a mini chapel service accessible wherever you are, this app is for you. This is produced by Jesuit Media Initiatives and it is absolutely lovely. It’s simply a beautiful tool for morning reflections. It also includes retreats and series--for example, an examen series, an Advent series, and a walking with God series. 

Our Bible (in app purchases)

Our Bible includes various versions of the Bible, devotions and devotional series, podcasts, Bible study, articles, and community groups all in one place. Topics range from grief, doubt, compassion and hospitality, addiction and recovery, and deconstruction and reconstruction. What I love about Our Bible is their inclusion of material specifically for LGBTQ, disability, and neurodiverse readers. There is also content in Spanish. 

Meditation Apps

Ten Percent Happier (in app purchases)

Ten Percent Happier comes from the work of Dan Harris and his book 10% Happier. I loved Harris’ book. As someone who has had panic attacks off and on for, ummm... forever, following his exploration of neuroscience and spirituality as he sought out how to tame the voices in his head was a great trip. The app is even better. Really gifted teachers both lead meditations but also teach about issues like anxiety, focus, and all about meditation. I’ve learned a lot in the conversations Dan Harris has with such teachers as Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein. There are single meditations, courses, sleep sessions, and podcasts.  

Insight Timer (in app purchases)

I use Insight Timer every single day for music and sleep meditations (according to Insight Timer I have logged 1,245 consecutive days which sounds about right). There is a wealth of music options, with new music always being added, but also guided meditations, courses, workshops, yoga classes, live events, and content geared for children. Many faith traditions are represented and the sheer quantity of topics available makes this app, in my opinion, a solid choice for anyone. 

Headspace (in app purchases)

Headspace is newer to me, and while it shares a lot in common with Insight Timer in terms of meditation teaching and content, there are important differences based on your style. What Headspace offers that is unique is a movement section with yoga, dance breaks, quick workouts, and cardio. You are also greeted by suggested morning, afternoon, and night sessions/options. It has a more secular feel and a bright, happy color interface which would appeal to those approaching mediation from a mental health focus more than a spiritual focus. 

This morning I walked through the cemetery near my house, intent on appreciating the trees showing off their fall colors before the rains come. I passed by name after name, some I knew, some I committed to their final resting place, some I recognized as the saints who had shaped the church of my childhood. Each time I walk these paths a new name stands out -  the infant son of a classmate, a colleague of my parents, long passed spouses of the widows I know. Every name to someone, as Frederick Buechner would say, “the person who brings life to your life.” Just as my thoughts get lost in those names, the ones I know and the ones I don’t, I am interrupted by the geese flying overhead, “heading home again,” just like Mary Oliver says, calling out, “harsh and exciting — over and over announcing your place in the family of things.” 

This place in the family of things belongs to both the living and the dead. This is a place of life and death, of urgency and peace. The squirrels go about their frantic work of collecting and storing up food. The deer keep an eye on me, confident that this is their place and I’m merely a guest passing through for now. The lives that brought life to someone else’s life stilled but not silent. And I wonder about my place and how it is both harsh and exciting, just as the geese say. And in this moment I know my place in the family of things to be between the vibrant leaves under my feet and those clinging to the tops of trees. My place as a guest fully belonging to the host.  My place on the path of the living informed by lives lived. 

Today when you hear the geese calling out may you hear them announcing your place in the family of things, and may it be both harsh and exciting.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the story of the death and resurrection of Lazarus. This story is full of all the complicated feelings we wrestle with: fear, frustration, anger, a little bit of faith and a whole lot of grief. Even Jesus’ feelings are named here, reminding us that ‘God with us’ weeps and grieves, too. When Jesus finally arrives in Bethany Martha says to him, “Lord, already there is a stench because he has been dead four days.” I imagine she silently finishes her sentence with “and I’m so mad right at you right now I could scream because how could you let this happen?! I thought you loved us?!” Jesus doesn’t make excuses for his lateness, he simply feels the anguish of the crowd and his own grief, and then takes a moment to address God, as our scripture says, “for the sake of the crowd.” He then cries out in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” I imagine a dramatic pause here with people waiting with baited breath to see what will happen, don’t you? 

Our Gospel reads that, “the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound with strips of cloth, and his face wrapped in a cloth. And Jesus said to them, ‘Unbind him, and let him go.’” (John 11:38-44) 

It is a resurrection moment for Lazarus but also for the whole community. Death was not the final word for them. But here is why this story keeps bubbling up in my mind during this moment that we find ourselves living in: 

THEN WHAT HAPPENED???

Death is not the end of the story but we aren’t given a picture of what happens next. I have questions like, “How exactly does Lazarus go back to daily life when there are still some bandages stuck to him and he still stinks?

How are his sisters supposed to treat him? 

How does this community navigate the feelings of relief that Jesus finally came and the feelings of anger that he didn’t come sooner? 

How are these people who have been grieving and wailing supposed to just go back to normal life?” 

This strange space the community now finds itself in with a resurrected man in their midst is full of all the feelings and questions I think of as a “Lazarus moments.” Lazarus moments are those times, like now, when we aren’t in the tomb, but we also aren’t back to “normal” life. The scraps of bandages are still laying around but we are alive and grateful. The stink of death is still hanging in the air and new life doesn’t, and maybe shouldn’t, look like it did before the tomb. Our Lazarus moments feel like being grateful we have a vaccine but also knowing that it doesn’t make covid magically disappear. It feels like being able to touch and hug our loved ones but also holding on to the realization that we could have lost those dearest to us, and some of us have. It feels like there is an expectation that we can flip a switch and turn off the grief we have been living with and just be “fine.” How are we, people who have been afraid, frustrated, filled with a little bit of faith and a whole lot of grief just supposed to go back to daily life? 

Friends, the Gospel of John doesn’t continue on to tell us about Lazarus’ next days or weeks. The story doesn’t answer any of our “then what happened?” questions or give us a roadmap for what's next, and while I hate that, maybe it's enough to just be aware that we are in a Lazarus moment. Maybe it is enough to know that Jesus keeps looking into our tombs and calling us to come out into a new life we can’t yet define. Maybe it's enough to just be in this moment with our bandages and our stink and not try to hurry on to the next part of the story.